The Journey
I started sitting three years ago, mostly out of burnout. What follows is the honest record — not a highlight reel, and not a conversion story. Some entries are hopeful. Some aren't.
Subscribe via RSS"I started this page mostly to keep myself honest — writing down what I actually notice, not what I think I'm supposed to notice."
Five minutes felt like an hour. I kept a timer visible, which a teacher later told me was the first thing to stop doing.
A weekend of silence. I cried twice, for reasons I still can't fully explain, and left lighter than I arrived.
I'd been treating it like a checklist. It's not eight steps you finish — it's eight things you keep doing, together, forever.
Practice didn't remove the loss. It gave me somewhere steady to put it down for ten minutes at a time.
I skipped almost two months. Coming back without treating it as a failure turned out to be its own kind of practice.
Writing all of this down publicly is its own small exercise in non-self — letting go of the version of me that wants to look like an expert.